I am sitting at a Starbucks in Chicago's massive O'Hare airport, trying to make the best of a three hour layover. It is well-known that I have not had the best history with air travel, and the fact that everything has gone so smoothly thus far (having even arrived 30 minutes earlier than our scheduled arrival time), worries me.
I got to spend some final moments with some of my nearests and dearests last evening. I still don't think the magnitude of this journey has hit me yet. I am leaving my whole life behind - everyone I have ever known, every spot I have ever loved, a large network of friends and family that make up my support system. My security blanket.
Allison gave me a beautiful card last night. It said Don't be afraid of change. Be afraid of not changing. And I think that fear is the stimulus behind this move. I am afraid of not changing. Of standing still. Of never knowing what my life could have been like. And although I don't fear falling on my face or failing at this endeavor, I do fear the bitter person that I would have become had I not given it a shot.
Being in the air gives everyone perspective. The plane approaches land. The passengers gaze with glazed eyes through the plane's small windows. Perhaps this moment is overwhelming for some; perhaps it offers some a sensation of hope. Over Lake Michigan, I thought about new beginnings and reinvention. As we passed over the still water, appearing tepid and bumpy from above, I stared at the approaching land, determined to allow this experience to fully embrace me - to let go of the past and jump right in. It's too late to turn back now.
I got to spend some final moments with some of my nearests and dearests last evening. I still don't think the magnitude of this journey has hit me yet. I am leaving my whole life behind - everyone I have ever known, every spot I have ever loved, a large network of friends and family that make up my support system. My security blanket.
Allison gave me a beautiful card last night. It said Don't be afraid of change. Be afraid of not changing. And I think that fear is the stimulus behind this move. I am afraid of not changing. Of standing still. Of never knowing what my life could have been like. And although I don't fear falling on my face or failing at this endeavor, I do fear the bitter person that I would have become had I not given it a shot.
Being in the air gives everyone perspective. The plane approaches land. The passengers gaze with glazed eyes through the plane's small windows. Perhaps this moment is overwhelming for some; perhaps it offers some a sensation of hope. Over Lake Michigan, I thought about new beginnings and reinvention. As we passed over the still water, appearing tepid and bumpy from above, I stared at the approaching land, determined to allow this experience to fully embrace me - to let go of the past and jump right in. It's too late to turn back now.
1 comment:
me = jealous
end of story.
i'm so happy for you. this GD blog is exactly true.
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